Few years back, a therapist asked me what made me anxious. I replied that it was my constant worry about everyone else around me. Then she asked, “Where are they now?”
“At their homes.”
“Living their lives…” That’s when I realized that my constant worry about everyone else’s well-being caused my breakdown. Everyone was living his or her life, while I frankly wasn’t.
Life isn’t as complicated as it seems to be. We tend to complicate it with our mischievous mind and dark thoughts. Once we start thinking more positively, it’ll get easier. When we simplify things, in turn life will seem simple. It is ok to feel sad and lonely sometimes, but why let these feelings overwhelm you? Why think of ending life when there’s so much worth living for? Trust me, you’ll find a lot of beautiful things in life that are worth fighting and living for.
Unfortunately, you’ll waste many years trying to please everyone around you, but guess what? You can never please everyone! Someone will always have something to complain about or criticize! And it’s not your fault nor is it your duty to fix it. You will meet a lot of people who will hurt you, who will offend you, who will stab you in the back, but the good thing is, you won’t stoop down to their level. You will not condescend and lose your principles. You will continue to hold on to your values even when everyone else around you drifts from them.
Remember how in high school you used to daydream in class? Do you remember your prayers at night? All you wanted was to love and be loved.. to be seen as beautiful. You wanted to be accepted. Do not worry, you will find love, actually love will find you; however, it’ll break you. You will know the striking and throbbing agony of loss, of disappointment, of heartbreak. Yet, you will stand up again, though you’ll fall back in love even deeper. But let me tell you this, I wish that early in your life you’d learn to be yourself and to love yourself. I wish you’d accept yourself, your inner and outer beauty; not to accede and accept whatever is given to you. I wish you’d set high standards and not assent to anything less. I wish you’d not let anyone dictate how you shall live your life or tell you what’s right and what’s wrong for you already know all that! You’ll feel out of place at many times, you’ll feel different than everyone around you; but different is good! An epiphany will come to you unexpectedly; you’ll apprehend that forgiveness will set you free. Forgiveness will help you get over greatest pains and it will pave the way for you to live pain free and guilt free.
You’d always say that friendship is the most important factor in your life. I wish I could tell you that you’re right. It’s not. Family is! Friends will shut their doors when you need them the most. They will simply tell you, “people change”. It’ll hurt like a scorching knife into your heart. You will learn this the hard way, that friends aren’t your safe haven. You family is. When you’ll fall, only your family will pick you up! When you’ll be in desperate need, your family will be your savior. Through your family, you’ll witness the miracle of birth, the sincere love of innocent children, true and genuine empathy, and the ultimate bond of brotherhood.
As you mature, you’ll realize that money is just a tool. Money doesn’t make a person, a person makes money! Money doesn’t grant a person a charismatic character nor does it buy love. If anything, money can cause a rift between you and the people who will come into your life. Learn this, if you want to let go of a person, lend them money! If you want to keep them, give them money!
You will contemplate marriage at some point in your life, and maybe motherhood. But soon after, you will realize that it’s not what you honestly want. It’ll be just a mere concept that society will impose on you. You’ll soon enough know that marriage is not a goal, maybe a choice. Funny enough, you’ll come to a time when you’ll decide to marry your own self. Why? Because you’ll realize that you won’t need to comfort, love, or please anyone else more than your own self. You will live numerous adventures; you’ll travel and see the world. You’ll go to places that you never think you will. You will succeed, and you will be an inspiration to others. People will look up to you and others will be proud of you. Some will hate you, maybe envy you; but still, you won’t learn to hate, which is good, I guess.
Just as you will figure life out, you’ll also figure out death. You’ll come to understand that death is a mere transition, nothing to dread and constantly worry about. You’ll experience this kind of loss and you’ll see it happen right in front of your eyes and that’s probably why you’ll accept and comprehend it.
So go ahead young lady, make mistakes and accept the consequences. Hold responsibility to your actions and don’t be afraid to stand up for what’s right. Fear God and not people! Enjoy the sweet taste of pain because it’ll only help you contain more joys and pleasures. Don’t give in, don’t give up; stand tall, believe in yourself and be satisfied and grateful for what God has given you.
Your older self.